I have been thinking a lot lately. Thinking about my goals
and how I am going to get there. The pre-season tasks on the Michelle Bridges 12
Week Body Transformation have started and it has made me stop and think about
the way I am approaching this journey.
Now, let me elaborate on it. The first task was titled ‘Get
Real – No more excuses’ I am the queen of excuses, but about six weeks ago I
had a light bulb moment. Yes, I work full time, run a household, have children,
can’t afford things… but I was so unhappy with my lack of motivation, every time
I looked in the mirror, I felt like crying, every time I stepped on the scales
and the number was bigger than last time, the feeling of being so tired all the
freaking time, the mental fog… but I was always too tired or too busy to do
anything about it and I never did, ended up sitting on the couch for the
evening and kicking myself for not trying. See, I was stuck in that frame of
mind, the excuses were there so I could justify not doing anything even though
I knew I was only fooling and harming myself for letting the excuses win. They
always won.
Then one day, I just finished tea/dishes/etc, I put my
walking shoes on and I went for a walk around the cul-de-sac I live in, up and
down the road in circles because it was already dark. I just did it, not much
thought put into it. My ten year old went with me and was encouraging me the
whole time, then she dared me to run to the end of the road. And I did it, I
nearly died but I did it. I could not run for 30 seconds back then. I took that
first step –the hardest one to take, in my opinion. Once you take that first
step, all of a sudden things are not so bad anymore. Yes, tiredness is still
there but after that first walk I felt like I could do anything. And I haven’t
stopped since. I started the C25K program and I am about to start week 4
tonight, there is a 5 minute run thrown in the mix there, for someone who could
not run 30 seconds, 5 minutes is huge. And it is a looooong time when you are
running ;) But I am not giving up, nope, not a chance of that happening. There
is nothing that compares to that ‘I did it’ feeling at the end of each run!
BUT, my downfall is still food.
Michelle also talked about responsibility. She broke the
word down as RESPONSE ABILITY. That really struck me, I am in control of my own
actions. Food does not force itself in my mouth (well, apart from the almond croissants
I had last week, hehe). If I am 100% honest with myself, since I started this journey,
I have not given 100% when it comes to the food part. The excuses are still
cluttering my brain – I am too busy to prepare my lunch for the next day (I
usually do really good at lunch time anyways). But then last week, we had some
geologists that came to the office from the States, I had to organise morning
tea and lunch for the two day workshop they were running. Food abundance all
around me. Then on Monday it was someone’s birthday – we had cake on Monday and
left overs on Tuesday. Wednesday was weigh in day so I was not surprised to see
I had put on 500grms.
On the goal setting task, I am still trying to work out how
I am going to do this. I know where I want to be right now, but in 12 months
time? I haven’t thought that far to be honest. But I get excited just thinking
about it, because honestly, the possibilities are endless! I can actually
achieve anything – so I need to think about this one carefully and be realistic.
Right now though, I am concentrating on the next 6 weeks as I am going overseas
to visit family, meet old friends – I really want to be in the best shape of my
life! They have not seen me in two and a half years so I want to see some jaws
drop. And secretly, my motivation is
this one girl, who I do not like very much - ohhh how I want to see her face when she sees
me.
Yesterday after I went to the Facebook group for the lovely
local ladies that are doing this program, I was really encouraged by everyone’s
success. I want that too. I want it so bad and I am the only one standing on
the way.
So here I am today. After a very hard look at myself, again,
I decided that I am going to give this my 100% - I have so much to gain, and I
have come a long way already. I am not going to let temporary pleasures get in
the way of the bigger picture.
I still haven’t watched the video for our Task 4 today. I
want to give my full attention. I also am mentally preparing myself for my run
tonight.
I will check in tomorrow and let you know how that went, if you are
interested ;)
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