Hello world

Hello world

 I have created this blog because I need a place to record my journey. A journey to a place to be fit and healthy – because I am so sick of being out of shape and awkward.

 As I take the first steps towards my happy place, the voice inside my head still tells me I can’t do it.

To be honest, I have a million excuses to justify the lack of exercise and healthy eating, like:

•  I get up too early
• I am a busy mum of three kids
• I work full time
• I get home after work and after cooking dinner, sorting the kids out, laundry etc. – I am too tired to move
• It’s too dark outside and I don’t want to go by myself
• Buying take-aways are much quicker than cooking

 The list goes on

 But the thing is, I KNOW they are excuses and I have to do something about it – If I don’t, I won’t be the only one suffering the consequences of my own lack of motivation – I see a lot of myself in my 10 year old daughter, her eating habits, sweet tooth etc. I need to change my life so I can benefit not only myself, but my kids as well. I want to set a good example for them.

 I grew up in a culture that is revolved around food – hot cooked meals for lunch and dinner. It was always about what we are going to eat for lunch or dinner, when we had guests, it was all about making sure they were well fed. I remember the first time I went overseas to the UK, how shocked I was to find out the English people didn’t cook extra food in case guests popped in! But that was just how I grew up, we never talked about healthy eating or exercising. I was always kind of chubby but I guess because I walked a lot the weight never really was that big of an issue. My mum was a big lady (who recently lost 60kgs when she had a gastric bypass) and she showed love by feeding us well.

 

So I learned those behaviours and took them into my own marriage. Three kids later and also thyroid cancer at 26, my weight went right up to 107kgs at my heaviest. That was not a good time in my life, I hated myself and the way I looked, I always felt tired. My body adjusted to not having a thyroid (I take replacement hormones every day for the rest of my life) and my weight settled around 97kgs. Still way too big for my small frame – I am only 1.63m tall (not sure what that is in inches).

I have lost weight before, never enough though, 5kgs here, 2kgs there… it always comes back, I have never had enough consistency or discipline to carry on for more than a few weeks at a time

 Anyways, back to today – or last week to be more precise

 I joined My Fitness Pal sometime in May but never really was active in it. Last week I was at breaking point and  I posted in the message boards asking advice from people – I wanted so bad to take the first step in my journey. But not just a first step again, but the first step for the last time. That also coincided with us having lunch with some good friends of ours, she is a runner. She was telling me when she started, she could not run more than a few hundred meters at a time. I was quite impressed with her determination. She then invited me to take part of a mini triathlon at her mum’s church in 7 weeks time. She said if I work hard, I can race the 3K run. At first I thought she was crazy but you know what? That thought soon went away, I saw it in a whole different light: THIS is my chance! I have something to work towards so for the first time in my life I thought that I could do it.

So I put my cheap running shoes on and went for a run. I ran as far as I could without dying and obviously, there is no miracle here, it just confirmed what I already knew: I am unfit and have a long way to go. I ran the length of our road – about 150 meters and I had to walk. So I walked back and run again. I was able to do it for four times. Not much, but definitely a start.

Then the next day when I felt tired, I put my running shoes on again. I ran again, the length of our road, but instead of four times, I did five. My ten year old daughter goes with me to help me and be my ‘coach’ (so she calls herself!). So the next day came again, and again, I ran. I was quietly surprised that I could almost run double the length I did that very first run! That got me pretty excited! So yesterday I ran again – note that for me, this is already victory! I went running for a whole week, everyday!

I stop sometimes and think to myself: Me? Running? Bahahaha!  - That little voice inside my head is still trying to convince me that I can’t do it. And I am working so hard to prove it is wrong. That yes, I CAN do it and I WILL do it.

This is a promise I made to myself